The Window and Door to the soul
by Saving the world is my weakness
Summary: Fear gripped him like no other as he recognized where he was...  but fear came back to choke her when she couldn't seem to look away...  Please give this story a chance!
1. Chapter 1

Professor Hermione Jean Granger had been teaching at Hogwarts for a little over 2 years and though she could have loved it immensely, she had found no joy in waking up to teach a group of dunderheads each day. A lot of things could change a person within the span of ten years, or more accurately, war could change a person. For some, it was a time that they could easily close the door on, lock it and throw away the key, But for others? Those few could not escape the tremors, the sadistic memories that they fought against. These were the witches and wizards who carried a reminder of the war with them each hour of the day, even though they had been scarred in different ways, they bared a mark. These people suffered the most and though they were constantly begged by loved ones to seek help, they couldn't open up. They began to rescind within themselves, building walls around them as high up as possible to keep their minds from crumbling to pieces, to keep anyone from entering.

Hermione was one among thousands who had become withdrawn, never being able to feel the warmth of the sun reaching down into their souls. She had never been one to open up after the war, becoming silent, observing everything, always guarding herself and shutting the world out of her life. She took no note of the changes until a year after the war, when Ron had broken up with her because of her uncharacteristic ways and to be frank, she was tired of the ginger. So with each year that past, she turned into the female verison of the second most feared wizard in their world.

One, Professor Severus Snape, took note on the way Hermione cut off the world, only speaking to teach the class and when talked to? The woman barely said more than two words when subjected to a bit of light chatter. _'She has become worse than me, even before the war.'_ He silently observed her from the corner of his eye. She sat next to him staring at her plate of food as if its contents held something far more gruesome than what she had experienced her whole life. He raised a questionable eyebrow as he projected his full attention towards her._ 'What the devil is wrong with her?'_ He pondered yet again, unsure on how to proceed.

Hermione could feel eyes analyzing her and she stiffened to a board. She froze, only relaxing a smidge when she noticed that it was Severus, her colleague. Slowly she made eye contact with him, giving him the briefest of nods in acknowledgement before turning her attention back to her food. She waited a few moments, waiting to hear the familiar 'clank' of silverware on fine china before she resumed her thoughts.

She felt exposed when seated next to the mysterious man and even though they had been colleagues for a while, Hermione feared him. She feared that at any moment he could barge into her mind, slyly poke at the right answers to the unasked questions and make her come completely unhinged.

Hermione held a dark secret that she dare not share it with just anyone. She detested those who couldn't keep their noses out of other people's business and knew she should be one to talk. With her track record as a student there, but like it was stated before, war can change people.

She had been cursed, it was nothing she couldn't handle, but it affected her greatly. She just needed to rely on her mental parlor tricks to keep Hades from stealing her. Whenever her mind was not occupied on observing and teaching or anything else remotely distracting, she was plagued by images of death. Visions of how people died or she would see corpses mangled in the most frightening way. The images were so vivid and realistic that it shook her terribly at times. Even though the vision's fought her constantly these days, showing up on a whim, she spoke to no one about them.

It felt like she was on the brink of insanity, and she dare not live through hours in a clinic of being tested or even worse, being pitied.

Hermione Jean Granger was not to be pitied.

Severus watched as the poor girl resumed fighting an endless battle within herself, millions of different emotions rushing across her face. His thoughts wandered back to the war, remembering how he found her at the end of Malfoy senior's wand, eyes wide with fear. The blonde man had spoken an ancient curse that even Severus knew not what it was, but when it shot her square in the face it seemed as if there was nothing amiss. Severus had shot the death curse at his ex-friend and he watched as the man withered to the ground with a playful smile frozen upon his lifeless face.

Severus did not know how to approach the girl, but as a blast was heard nearby, he quickly inquired if she was okay. He left her when she nodded 'yes' and did not see her until the very end when they bumped into each other trying to collect the dead.

The silence, that usually relieved him, was making him uneasy that afternoon and the emotions of concern washed through him as he watched her.

"Professor Granger, may I enquire to know if you are feeling alright this evening? You seemed to be distress about something. Surely Potter and Weasley haven't said or done something to anguish you?" Severus asked in a most civil tone.

Hermione placed her silverware down, taking the napkin from her lap to dab at her lips for good measures before turning to speak to him.

"Oh, no, sir. I can assure you, all is well with me and I thank you for your kind inquiry. Harry and Ron are quite well." Hermione knew that he wasn't really asking about them, but she replied with no more and prayed that he would not press further. She began to resume picking at her food when she was interrupted again.

Severus knew when she didn't want to talk anyone, but he was going to try whatever he could to get her to open up to him. He knew war changed everyone in different ways but the way she was acting was rather ridiculous, so he persisted on having a conversation with her.

"I've heard they are on their fourth child, it would seem. Not long till we'll be having their children running around, yeah? We'll have to savor the next couple of years before they come to terrorize these halls." He smirked. She nodded and then excused herself from the Head Table to rest before the afternoon classes began. He thought that she might at least show a small smile or protest, but after the war he had come to notice that not once did she smile the way she always did. In fact she never smiled at all, not a single trace on her face ever showed that she did before. He almost missed the way she used to pester him with endless amounts of questions, as well.

He continued to watch as the woman before him scurried out of his presence. It was the first time the man never wished that he held the power to do so. He sat hunched over his plate, staring into it with a daze that he could not breakout of for the life of him. _'What is wrong with her?'_ He counted to 'thirty' before excusing himself to the Headmistress and began his trek to Hermione's classroom.

So, Severs Snape had finally decided, He was going to get to the bottom of what happened to her and he was going to make her smile one way or another.

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><p>Hermione did not stop her fast pace until she had reached the safety of her classroom, but even then that was a stretch. Gasping for air, she leaned against the door for support. It was not much of a distance from the Great Hall and the woman was not out of shape, but she was sick. Hermione was thin and without her large intimidating robes, very frail looking indeed.<p>

The great Hermione Jean Granger, was dying.

The curse was causing her to grow slowly insane and at the same time, it was sucking her magic and life away. She had tried everything; researched till she no longer found pleasure in reading, experimenting till she ran out of money and sponsors, and sought out the most wisest and dangerous of witches and wizards their world had ever know. Yet, it was all to no avail.

Ten years.

Ten years and still no closer to an answer, not a single clue and no more hope to instill it. She figured she had another five years to go before the curse would take her fully, even Severus Snape's 'stopper in death' would not slow down the curse. She refused any help from anyone that she questioned and dare not breath a single word on the matter to people she knew.

She was giving up.

Hermione gained some bearing and when she grew confident, she walked to the front of the classroom taking a seat behind her desk. There were research notes scattered about that she still dabbled in, but it was from mere habit now to have them.

Her hands fluttered to her face, covering her eyes with a groan of frustration she let her hands slide lifelessly into her lap and simply let her head fall back against the backrest as she stared wordlessly at the ceiling. Minutes ticked by as she let her head drop back down to stare out at the empty classroom.

It was quiet and looming with magical energy. The wooden desks were old and rickety, faded from years of use. The surface's were scratched and marked from improper use of quills or students writing to forcefully on their parchments and the stone floors had seen better days. It was empty of posters, pictures and knickknacks, sitting just as plain and dusty as the first day she was assigned to it.

Letting out a sigh she shuffled to her feet, trying to find something to focus on before the terrors found their way to the front of her mind. Behind the desk were large imposing bookshelves that housed the many books she had collected on her quest for the answer.

'_Oh, the answer…' _she sighed.

That was what it had become to her, 'the answer'. It was never the cure because she couldn't think of it as a cure. A cure was something that made it go away without ever having to understand it, 'The answer' told her why and what could be done, who had first created it and what was its real purpose.

She ran a light finger along the many spines of written facts, that she knew by heart. She could point at any volume and recite the text word for word, cover to cover and it was tiresome.

Hermione was tired, exhausted and over taxing herself. She would quit if she could, but at the same time, Hogwarts was her home, her only guiding light in the darkness of her soul. If she did quit, where would she go and with what money? She was proud in the sense that she did not want to live off her family at 28 years old and her best friends had their own lives and mouths to feed. She couldn't become a burden on them. Her teaching position had allowed her the ability to use less magic and let the magic of the castle work for her, but sometimes, it wasn't enough.

"How does one live with the knowledge that they will soon die?" she asked the empty room, not expecting any answer in return.

"Everyone dies soon, Hermione. You cannot die until you've lived, that is life and deaths only rule." came a soft voice. She knew that silken tone but a detached feeling spread through her as turned to meet Severus' gaze.

She froze, not believing she could have let her guard down. She turned around in terror, a gruesome sight met her. The field of the final battle replaced the boring classroom. Fire blazed around as smoke made it harder to see and breath, it began filling her lungs causing her to choke as her eyes filled with salty tears. Figures walked towards her, clawing the ground and air to get closer to her, beckoning for her to come to them.

Faces of friends and enemies alike called her name and their screams were frightening, but not as much as the sight of them. Their mangled bodies were falling apart, blood gushed from wounds and guts spilled out onto the floor. Their flesh was colored grey and blue and some had eyes hanging right out of their sockets as others had jaws hanging unhinged. She couldn't explain it any other way, but it was horrifying to see the way their bodies moved as one, like puppets, as black shadows wrapped around them like ivy. Some of the shadows formed hands trying to capture the frightened woman and as she shrank away screaming with pure terror, she tried to fend a pair of arms off as they encircled her.

She thrashed and screamed, feeling the vision smother her until the rasping voices of her name being called formed into one strong masculine voice, that she knew all to well.

"Hermione? Hermione! Hermione can you hear me? Hermione, it's not real! It's not real witch! Focus!" Came Severus' strong but pleading voice as he held on to her with a strong and securing hold. He couldn't understand, as he coaxed the girl out of the terror. One minute he was answering her question, the next she was screaming bloody murder.

Hermione stared at Severus with owl like eyes. Her brain was trying to focus on his face, trying to see the lines of his features form, the way his lips bent into a deep frown and his nose held a slight irregular bump on the bridge of it. His eyebrows were arched high with concern and his dark eyes searched her face trying to find some form of life in her. Her muffled mind gripped at his gaze, using it as a light through the darkness and finally she could breathe. She gasped for air, not seeming to fill her lungs fast enough as she held Severus in a death grip, but fear came back to choke her when she couldn't seem to look away. _'NO!'_

Severus was in shock by the sight before him, he watched as she withered like a rabid animal about to go insane. The woman before him was grey and as cold as death, her teeth were clenched as if fighting off the Cruciatus curse, but it was her eyes that made Severus openly stare at the woman in pure horror. He recalled how it was said that the eyes were believed to be the door to the soul, but when he looked into hers he saw nothing but darkness. Whether it was because her soul was completely corrupted or because she no longer possessed one, Severus was lost within them, falling until he landed in an endless realm of darkness and decay.

All around him, life seemed to have disappeared and he could feel himself panting from the labor of running away. The distance growing closer as he ran harder and suddenly a two-story cobblestone house appeaered, causing him to stop dead in his tracks. Fear gripped him like no other as he recognized where he was and as he looked up at the lit window, he saw the flash of green light in his mind before it even happened. His vision blurred as the scene rushed past him, finding himself in the doorway leading into a navy blue room. His heart froze as the scene unfolded in front of his very eyes, the nightmare that he relived every day.

Lily lay sprawled out on the floor, limbs positioned in unnatural ways, as he stared into her eyes. Her precious emerald green eyes that held such warmth, such wonder and passion, were frozen open with never ending fear. Tears streaming down his face as Severus crumbled to the floor, he felt the ground shake around him as he cradled her lifeless form to his chest. He had sensed someone in the room and was ready to leap at them when he saw Hermione, standing rigid with clenched fists at her sides and tears streaming down her face.

"NO!" She scream and Severus was ready to lunge for her when she screamed with more force than ever.

"NO!" The ground seemed to rumble and in the middle of the scene; golden light appeared like a rip in a seam.

"NO!" She screamed the third time with such force that the world seemed to rip apart and Severus felt himself being thrown into the air, his form went crashing into a row of desks. He banged his head hard against one of them and his vision blurred before it focused again and he saw Hermione in the same stance as he did in the vision.

"Get out, Now!" She snarled like a wild dog.

Severus didn't need to be told twice as he crawled up to regain his footing. Too petrified to look back, he fled the room as if the hounds of hell were snapping at his heels.

Hermione waited till he left the room before sliding to the floor unconscious, her magical and emotional energy exhausted from trying to save him from her mind and souls cage.


	2. Chapter 2

Potions class was cancelled for the rest of the day and many were astonished because it had become such a rarity since after the war. Severus could no longer be found wounded in the hospital wing and he was never needed else were for Order work or Death Eaters. One could say he was living the dream on any other day except today. Today or more so, that afternoon found him slouched in his arm chair in front of a roaring fire, sipping the last remains of his freshly opened bottle of Firewhisky. Though it was his second bottle in the past hour, he could not even feel the slightest buzz, as he stared blankly into the burning embers.

His eyes were glossed over, trying to sort his thoughts and memories but it all seemed to blur into one. The shouts and screams deafened him as images flashed behind his eyes. It was a mix of what he had seen in Hermione's mind and what he had really experienced at first hand only to come to a conclusion, was there any difference within the two scenes?

Severus wanted to go back down and curse the woman, for luring him into such a state of mind. He loathed her and was shocked she knew such details, as his train of thought molted towards these questions he became unhinged. Trepidation gripped him as he began to tremble, what was she? What powers could this monster possess that he knew not of? His brain tried to sort out the key facts; he had been staring into her eyes and realized that he was almost held prisoner by her liquid brown daunting gaze. His surroundings had melted away for sure and he felt almost transported to the deepest damns of hell, but had he really left or had he gone through the doors of her eyes, entering her soul?

He abruptly got up from his chair, sloshing the amber liquid from the large mouth of his third bottle, making his way to one of the endless bookshelves that surrounded his living quarters. Ignoring the dizzy spell that plagued him briefly, he made way to a section that he rarely paid mind to. It was a shelf dedicated to ridiculous books that Albus had given him as gifts; he still skimmed them to amuse the dead old man, but was rather put off when he remembered something of use from one of the many passages. Finding the clean bind of a dark purple book, he roughly pulled it out reading the gold script writing that was stamped upon its surface. '_Eyes: Windows to the Heart and Soul by Ladean Griffin'. _ "No doubt a Lockheart lover who wrote this rubbish." He grumbled as he thumbed open the book trying to recall a certain passage.

_"The eyes are said to be the windows to the soul. Most of the witches and wizards who make up our world, have windows behind their eyes, they allow passer by's to sense what type of person they are. Many do not know they are allowing others to see the deepest part of them, which calls for a really magical experience when a witch and wizard can experience their wants, needs, feelings and soul together. Though everyone is known to possess window there are those who hold doors to their soul and these are the most dangerous of all. These witches and wizards knowingly can capture a person with in their soul if they will it or unknowingly let their guard down. It has been said that those who are captured into the soul of another can never escape unless the owner of the soul releases the binds at their own will. Their soul is dark and forbidding in the sense that one might feel like they are trapped within the soul but in actuality, are trapped within the mind and experience all the terror's It holds. It is extremely rare for one to be born with such a cursed gift, one in a thousandth chance every one-hundred-and-fifty years does this occur. The like likely hood of occurring it at a later stage in life is slim to none to ever occur. There is a rumor that one family within the wizarding world knows a curse to implement such a thing, but it is a curse, rumored to be handed down generation by generation. The family name is unknown still till this day but many believe it to be an old wives tale._

_The terrible thing about this curse is that it slowly feeds off the witch or wizard's magical energy and life energy, making them slowly die as if a cancer. These who hold such a fate are among the saddest living creature the world has ever known, for they grow insane and there body slowly decays from the outside in." _

His mind went into overdrive at this information, re-reading the whole book cover to cover. He found no new useful information apart from that small paragraph that left him stumped. "Was that the curse Malfoy used?"

* * *

><p>Hermione was running from a wild unicorn, His body soaked in blood and mud as it chase after her, baring fang like teeth. Its glistening silver horn was also stained with blood at the tip as it charged after her through the forbidden forest. She was tripping over tree branches and could feel the burning sting of her arms and hands scrapped from the force of trying to break her fall. There was a frantic screech as she got to her feet and made a break to a small clearing in front of her. She was sweating and as she tried to glance behind her shoulder to see how close she was to being speared by its great horn, she tripped again throwing herself off a cliff that was in the clearing.<p>

Hermione let out a strangled cry as she opened her eyes to find herself laying perfectly still, safe on something hard. She blinked a few times to let the whirling room settle and found that she was in what looked to be in the infirmary. She let out a sigh and closed her eyes again for a moment, only to have them snap open when she heard something bustled towards her. Her eyes opened to find the Headmistress following Madame Poppy closely, both housing grave looks upon their features.

"Hermione, Are you okay? Dear, you've given us such a fright!" Minerva asked with much concern. Poppy was waving her wand over the young woman try to get a diagnostic read.

"I Am fine, Headmistress. I did not mean to cause such concern." Hermione mumbled, lying down so she didn't have to fight with the medi-witch to sit up. Poppy finished her assessment, thinking she would find something, but was astonished to find that there was nothing wrong with her.

"Hermione?" Hermione noticed that Poppy found nothing through her assessment; it was the same thing every time she was under evaluation.

"I was simply over extending myself, I am perfectly fine now." The lie left her lips, the same excuse she used over the years when someone found her unconscious. Hermione made to get up but felt the weight of the elder woman's hand resting on her chest to halt her movements. "Hermione, I would like to keep you for at least over night for observations, if that's all right?"

Though it was a question, the young one knew it to be a statement. Hermione wanted to protest but knew there was no use trying to fight the old woman. There was plenty of time to slip out through the shadows of the night. The castle held such dark shadows it was a wonder one did not disappear entirely in its mysterious realm. Her lips thinned as she forced a smile to them, not trusting her voice, she gave a swift nod before allowing her head to fall back onto the musky pillow.

Poppy began a standard set of questions that Hermione replied with lie after lie, really focusing to make sure she did not leave any answer lacking, then again, she has had ten years of practice and was quiet afraid at how good she was at lying. Minerva left after the third batch and after another four more batches of a game of twenty-one questions, Poppy left to attend her other patients with a promise of returning later with a sleep remedy. Hermione huffed with annoyance at the predicament she found herself and could not wait to leave.

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><p>When the lights had been doused through the long stone room, Hermione grabbed her teaching robes to drape them over her arm before charming her teaching boots to her feet. She felt and scanned for any wards to detect anyone from entering and exiting the room and quickly cancelled them out. Her form hugged the stone walls, trying to blend with her surroundings and to move silently through the corridors to the safety of her quarters. Every so often she would stop to listen to the walls and try to sense if anyone was around before taking a group of more steps and stopping to repeat her actions. Though it slowed her rush to her rooms it was her safest bet to escape without being dragged back to the infirmary.<p>

She was peeking around the corner when she felt a hand shoot out and grasp her forearm roughly, yanking her around to face an angry Severus. He was sober now, but Hermione could still smell the faint aroma of Firewhisky while trying to put space between them.

"Sneaking off from the infirmary, Hermione?" he said stiffly. His grasp on her arm tightening. He was still livid with her, even with the information that he had read, he still felt like she deliberately tried to encage him within her soul and mind.

"Unhand me this instant." She demanded as she wretched her arm from him. He was tempted to meet her fiery gaze but fear probed him to look elsewhere. Settling on the center of her nose it made for a good show. Hermione made to walk around him, but he met her every step for step.

"Get out of my way." She gritted.

"How did you know? How did you do it? I want to know and I want answers right now." Severus snarled at her and she almost bit back with fear. He grabbed her roughly by the arms and began to shake her, as if he could shake the answers from her, but he stopped when she cried out with pain. He watched as the girl collapsed before him and fall into a heap on the floor. He finally noticed how frail she was, the glamour on her face had weakened and he could see how her face and body looked like a barely breathing skeleton. He gasped as he dropped down to lift her up.

"What is wrong with you?" He listened to her groans of pain as he made to scoop her up and carry her back to the infirmary. Hermione sensing his motives pushed his advancing hands away from her person as she tried to pick herself back up.

"I do not need, nor want your help. Kindly remove yourself from me and allow me some room so I may get up."

"You are not fit-"

"I am fit enough to do as I please. You are neither my keeper nor my lover and have no reason to touch me without my permission. Remove yourself from my person, Thank you." Her tone was deadly and he felt he would freeze from its icy texture. He finally backed away and watched as she struggled to her feet. The white of the hospital gown made her seem washed out and her long curls seemed to get tangled between her arms and legs. He never noticed how pale she really was, and maybe pale did not define the color her complexion held. It was more of a sickly yellow as if the color of a healing burse. Her hair was unreasonably long, the frazzled and split ends brushing mid calf, their curling ringlets undefined and rugged looking. She looked like a walking corpse and his eye twitched with each cracking noise her joints made. She was hunched over as if she were an old woman and could easily mistake her to be one-hundred years of age if he did not take note of lack of wrinkles. _'How has no one said anything to her? How have they not noticed?' _He studied her face, the way it was stretch tight around her cheek bones, the impossible dark bags under her eyes, he refused to look into her eyes and instead focus on the already busing hand marks, where he grabbed her roughly.

Hermione staggered to her feet, biting back a sigh to not announce any weakness. She could feel his eyes wander over her decaying form, she only hoped she was strong enough to cast the charm.

"Obliviate!" Her voice rang softly, her ebony wand pointing at Severus' nose. He blinked, at first confused at her movements before his eyes narrowed at the realization at what she was attempting to do. He grabbed her wrist tightly, not even caring that he heard cracking of the bones as rustled her wand effortlessly from her hand.

She snatched her hand back, whimpering in pain as she took note that the spell did not work.

"How dare you! Walk, now." He snarled. Not having enough energy to fight, she complied and glided towards her rooms, Severus following closely behind with her want jabbed into her back.

"What are you going to do to me?" As they grew closer to the portrait that entered into her quarters, she was growing curious. "Will you kill me? Torture me?"

"I will not give you the satisfaction. Give your password." Hermione complied and the portal opened up into a dank and dark parlor room that was overflowing with books on shelves and in piles around the room. He led her to an armchair, carelessly throwing books and papers onto the floor as he sat her roughly into it.

"You WILL answer my every question and you will answer it truthfully. Begin, and after you finish and I find your answers to be satisfactory, I will fix your hand." He folded his arm as he sat across from her on the coffee table. He listened to her tale on how she had been wondering around somewhere she shouldn't have been and that she was raped and tortured almost to a point of insanity. If it had been any other person they would believe her tale, but Severus was a skilled liar and he knew the true signs of a rape victim.

"Again. Tell me again." Hermione looked on confusion as she repeated word for word her tale and could sense that he was just trying to catch her off guard.

"Miss. Granger you try my patience. The truth or I shall beat it out of you. Now." He was growling at her, his face inches from hers, being carefully to avoid her full gaze. Hermione did not waver from his threat and continued the same lie again. Severus grew irritated and slammed a fist on the arm of her chair.

"Again."

"I don't know what you want. Get out of here and my business or are you so much like the imbeciles that I teach every day? Mind your business Snivellus." At this remark, her eyes grew wide with fear as he flung himself at her toppling the chair to the floor as his long fingers laced around her throat. His nose grazed her cheek as his lips brushed her ear and she shivered with terror.

"Again."

"What will you do to me? Choke me with your bare hands? I welcome it!" She spat in his face. His hold tightened on her and he let an evil smirk paint itself across his features.

"I will truly show you what it is like to be raped, now tell me the truth."

With her good hand, she snuck it up wildly scratching and kicking him and Severus simply chuckled darkly at her attempts. She was to weak and was bound to try quickly.

"Hermione, was it at the final battle. Was Malfoy the one to curse you in such a way? Did you make you the way you are now? Your eyes, I dare not look at for I will not be able to escape a second time. The Door to the soul instead of the window, am I right?" Terror flashed across her face again.

"Ah, I see I've struck a nerve. Get up. Go get cleaned and don't you dare make a break for it. I will be able to find you and you will not get far without the magic of this castle to support you. And I dare say you have limited movement with that hand as well." Severus got up from her, straightening his outer robes.

Hermione scrabbled to her feet like a crippled kitten before making a break to her bathroom.

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><p>Reviews? Anyone? anyone at all?<p> 


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